If you are an African, you will be able to relate to this article. When you are a teen, your African parents will not want to hear you talk about a boyfriend. When you are twenty-five or more and still single, some will start asking you if you have a suitor, or asking you when you intend to get married. Well, you may have already experienced this, or you will soon experience it. Have you experienced this? Let me know in the comment section please.
I know that men experience this kind of questions at an older age. When they are 30 and above, you will hear mothers expressing their unquenchable desire to be grandmothers. Some mothers even go to the extend of telling you how their friends are already great-grandmothers, and they are not even grandmothers. I wonder what these titles mean to them. Do not get me wrong. I love kids, and I believe that children are a gift from God. Children are a blessing.
THIS IS WHY BEING SINGLE IS OKAY AND ACTUALLY A BLESSING.
I do not want you to be joyless because you are single. I want you to be happy that you are. Actually, do not be depressed simply because you are trying to please your parents or make everyone feel that you are man or woman enough. Do not rush into a relationship because of peer pressure, or because of the pressure from friends, family or loved ones.
Do not forget that you will be the one wearing the shoes of your relationship not any other person.
With that being said, do you sit and think that you are good for nothing? Or that you are hopeless? Or do you ask yourself questions like:
Is singleness a curse?
Is GOD punishing me with singleness?
These are interesting questions that can go via your mind.
The short response to that is YES! Being single is a great blessing than it is a curse. Being single is a huge blessing in disguise.
Is being single normal at age 20 and above?
YES! It is my dear.
As a Christian, will I ever get a relationship again?
You sure will.
This actually brings you and I into todays blogpost.
10 Ways Single Christians should Enjoy Their Singleness.
Like I said above, being single is not a curse or a taboo. Do not be in a hurry just to be in a relationship. A lot of people have ended up in an abusive relationship just because they are uncomfortable to be alone. You can read that blogpost on how to stop an abusive relationship here.
10 IMPORTANT THINGS YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SINGLE.
SPEND TIME WITH GOD IN PRAYER AND STUDYING YOUR BIBLE:
This is a must do. Prayer is the key to everything. I can not even over emphasize on this. Jesus in the bible prayed, what more of you and I? when you are a Christian who is single, the best thing you can do to yourself is to actually spend time with God praying and studying your bible. This will help you to trust God in this time of singleness. When you pray, and study your bible, you will be aligned to what is expected of you.
This is a time for direction, correction, rebuke and clarity for what lies ahead of you. This is very important for you to do. This is a time of totally surrendering to God as well.
2. SELF-LOVE/ SELF-DISCOVERY:
When you are single, you will discover yourself. This is a ‘YOU’ time. This is a time where your purpose will be revealed with so much clarity. You will discover a lot of things that you are good at. This is a time where you will find out what really makes you happy, and what does not.
You may have been in a very toxic relationship, and have lost touch of who you are, or have really neglected yourself. This is a time for you to pamper yourself. This is a time to show yourself some love. This is a time to show yourself some attention and affection. No one can love you like you.
This is a time to take yourself on a date. It is a time to look even better. It is a time to eat healthier, exercise, and look put together.
Showing yourself some love is not a sin. Even the bible says that your body is the temple of the LORD. That means make it look amazing inside out. So, pamper yourself. You deserve it.
3. IMPROVE ON YOURSELF:
No one knows everything in this world. One thing I am know is that, everyone definitely knows something. Learning never stops. While you are single, go ahead and improve on yourself. Instead of weeping, crying and being so hard on yourself, go ahead and learn something.
In this time of singleness, you can learn a new craft, you can read a book, or go back to school. You can start a business, or learn something that you are passionate about. You are never too old or too young to learn something new. When time is gone, you will never get that time back. Use the time you have judiciously.
4. MEET NEW PEOPLE:
Just because you are single does not mean that it is the end of the world. You can meet new people. People who will help you in what ever you are interested in. You can meet people in church, you can even have a business meeting, you can meet new people just anywhere. If you are invited to a wedding, or a birthday party, do your best to go.
Going to these occasions and actually socializing are two different things. When you get there, talk to people, and make sure that you are cheerful. Engage in conversations. You may never know where such healthy conversations may end. You may land a business partner, or a good friend, or a mentor.
Do not go to these gatherings and sound desperate and ‘thirsty’ in your conversations. That is not good for you. Carry yourself with dignity and with a lot of self-worth.
5. WORK ON YOUR CAREER AND DREAMS:
Before you got into a relationship, you had a career path. I am strongly against dropping all you ever want in life for a relationship. It is different if you change your career path because you want that career to maybe accommodate your marriage or something. I have met people who do not work anymore because they landed a ‘trophy’ boyfriend. This also applies to guys. They stay home doing nothing. I really wonder who they think they are fooling here. Do not get me wrong. You may not have a 9-5 job, but you could have a side hustle, or even add some value to yourself. Some people do not do anything at all, just because they think that a relationship is all they need in life. That is not correct.
Now that you are single, it is time for you to get up, and pursue the career path that you have always wanted. Go to school, learn a trade, pickup a new hobby, learn a craft. You may have had a dream to start a business. What are you waiting for? Go for it, and do not give up on that dream of yours.
6. SPEND YOUR TIME JUDISCIOUSLY:
When you waste any time, you will never get it back. Spend this time to do some useful work for yourself. If you want to learn a craft, do it. If you want to go to school, go ahead. If you need to travel for business, by all means do that.
Use your time to do constructive things. Do not waste it gossiping or finding faults in people or things. Use your time to build and construct things in your life and in the lives of others.
7. GET AN EXTRA JOB:
If you are bored at home, and you are probably not going to school, you could get an extra job to generate some income. You need money to feed, clothe, and be a blessing to others. So, get an extra job if you can to help you when you with your bills. Remember that am idle man is the devil’s workshop.
8. GIVE BACK TO YOUR COMMUNITY:
This can be volunteering in a nonprofit, or even in your church. As a Christian who is single, serve in your church. You could be active in the ushering department or teaching Sunday school, or in the media, or anywhere else. Be active.
You could also volunteer in any nonprofit organization. Maybe pack meals, or help in whatever way you can. This will give you a degree of self-worth I tell you. At least you are giving back, or let me say that, at least you are being productive.
9. TAKE TIME TO HEAL COMPLETELY:
Being single, is a great time for you to actually heal completely. Do not be in a rush to get into another relationship. Find time to know yourself, love yourself, and heal. There is no definite time as to how soon you could heal and get into another relationship. You cannot possibly be healed in a day after a serious relationship you just got out of. I will say heal completely during your singleness so that you do not carry your hurt to your new relationship.
10. TRUST GOD’S TIMIMNG FOR YOU:
I can not even over emphasize this. Trust God’s timing for you. You are in no competition with anyone. Like I always say, you should be competing with yourself to be a better version of yourself. I did a video on how to trust God’s timing. You can watch the video here.
If you like this kind of blogposts, let me know, and I will sure write more, or do a series. Furthermore, being single is a great blessing because you get to spend quality and uninterrupted time with yourself.
Sharing is caring. If you think someone would be blessed by this blogpost, please share this with them.
Until next time,
This is Bella.