Self-Love/ Self-Care: How to love yourself unapologetically.

self love
self-love and self-care

Why loving yourself is so important

A lot of people are insecure either physically, spiritually or even emotionally. I have been talking to someone who told me upfront that she is emotionally challenged, and nothing good can arise from her when it comes to relationships.

During one of those sessions, what she said brought tears to my eyes. I was a little emotional not only because of what she said, I was emotional because she is not the only one going through some sought of abuse in the world.

Love is a beautiful thing people. This is like a very common thing that a lot of people say, but is it even true? Some say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Others say love is a fantasy. Some say true love doesn’t exist. Others say true love does exist. Wherever you find yourself on this love spectrum, go ahead and chill. Let us have a solid conversation here.

Before you and I continue, let’s go to the very basics.

What is love?

When I google what love is, I just got this definition that interests me. It said love is a great interest and pleasure in something. This deep pleasure can be for someone or for something.

If love is a great and intense or deep pleasure, does it mean that love is only erotic? Does it mean that there is no agape love? Does agape love hurt?

You and I have probably gone down this lonely road of pain. I call it lonely because you go down that road alone. No one is with you. You feel the pain deep in your heart.

The heart is a muscle. Trust me, this little muscle really stands the test of time. You hear and see how parents, siblings, friends betray the love you have for them.


This is very common amongst Africans. You can have someone who travels to a developed world. He or she will do their best to save money and send back home to their immediate family. The money is so that they can help erect a structure for them. This never happens eventually. After years of collecting the money, they vanish into thin air.

Another thing is when you work so hard in your relationship with your partner. You treat them right, and foot all bills for everything that they ever wanted. You even go ahead to make sure that they are comfortable. You listen to them. You accept their baggage. One day you come home only to find them in bed with another person. Hahahaha.

This life is filled with a lot of things one can not phantom. I tell you this confidently. If I have to tell you all of the things going on in this world, you will be amazed. Just because you do not know what is going on, doesn’t mean that, that thing doesn’t exist.

This is the very reason I am making this blogpost about self-love, self-care and all. You need this for your wellbeing. Right now, you may not know why, and how to actually exercise some self-love.

Without much ado, lets jump right into the importance of why self-love, self-care, putting yourself first is very important to you, your vision, your purpose, your mental health, your wellbeing, and everything that concerns you.

Find out why loving yourself is so important.

No one can love you like you would love yourself. I have actually come to realize that, you love yourself genuinely from the inside out. Self-love is not a sin. Putting yourself into the equation of your life is not a crime. Trust me when I say that.

I know and totally understand that, you would want to treat yourself even better. Unfortunately, you cannot even do that because you have been treated unfairly, and you probably think that it is the right thing to do. Unfortunately, it is not so.

Do not minimize yourself for something you actually deserve.

~ Christ Bella.

You do not have to prove yourself to anyone:

  • It makes you make better decisions/ saying no when you have to. This is very easy. When you love yourself, you will not compromise. You may find yourself doing things for the norm of it. For example, just because you are in an abusive relationship, you may think that it is right to accept the hitting. Sometimes, you may even let go of your vision and or neglect to work or improve yourself just because your abusive partner said so. You may say or do these things because you want to keep your ‘so called’ relationship. If only you know your worth, you will not settle for that relationship because your future and destiny is on the line.
  • It makes you not to seek approval from people. A lot of people always want some kind of approval from people. I have been there. At one point, I wanted some approval from people. When I grew with my walk with God, I better understood who I am in Christ, and who God wants me to be. Although I am still growing, I know that I will never be the same again because I know to some degree who I am, and I have decided to show so much love to myself.
  • You believe in yourself. Believing in yourself is not a one-day thing. When you study who you are, and come to an understanding of the role you have to play in life, you will believe in yourself. Others may not believe in you. Life always has its way of toiling with you and I. If only you search yourself deep within to know what you are passionate about, or how you can actually add some value to yourself, you will be amazed how confident and strong you have become.
  • Forgiveness. When you know who you are, it makes you heal when you are hurt easily. Because you know that you are a Queen or a King, when you know who you are, you easily let go. You better understand that, being hurt today doesn’t mean that your life is limited or stocked. You understand that you have learned your lesson, and you are actually moving on to the next chapter of your life.

How to practice self-care/self-love.

Have a routine night and morning routine is very important in your selfcare journey. This may even include easy things like getting up early in the morning, praying, drinking a cup of coffee, and a lot more. Selflove can be inner self care or outer self-care. All of these selfcare will give you a balance to life. which is a balance of your spirit, soul and body. This is my motto always.

how to practice self love

Inner self care

Take classes to improve on your mind.

Read your favorite book.

Learn a new craft

Learn a new instrument.

Cut negativity out of your life.

Spend time praying.

Read your bible

Spend quality time with yourself to develop yourself.

Outer self-care

Spend time to exercise.

Eat healthy as much as possible.

Buy new makeup if that is what you like.

Get some new cosmetics if you can.

Dress good at all times.

Do facials if you care for it.

Get a massage.

Get pedicure/ manicure.

self love and self care


  • Leaving in integrity and self-love

This is very important because self-love involves living in integrity. Integrity is living in accordance to your principles, wants, and your needs. Living a life of integrity is about having boundaries and adding value to your values, yourself, your desires, your needs, your wants and most importantly, your vision, purpose and your destiny.

During this quarantine, are you giving yourself some self-care and self-love?

Let me know.

Until next time



  1. Thank you for sharing this! As women we tend to feel so guilty about making time for ourselves. However, it is a must if we are to grow and fulfill destiny. Bless you


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