Tuesday, August 4, 2020
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How To Be Happy Single: 5 Godly Ways To Enjoy Being Single

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How to be single and happy
How to be happy while single

Happiness can not be bought. Being happy is something that I urge everyone to do always.

Although some things will always arise to make you sad, do your best to bounce back.

Life is filled with ups and downs. Life can make you rethink if you really want to live or not.

I urge you to be happy for life. Life is short so make it count. Life can try to knock you down, but do your best to get back right up.

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Being patient is a virtue. It is always worth the wait. Read my article HERE

I was talking to my mother the other day and she said ‘never run away from the life lessons you have to learn in other for you to get to the next level.

This got me thinking. When I started writing this blogpost, I realized that a lot of people who are married are unhappy, and you will see a lot of people who are single are very happy. Why is this so? I realized that a lot of people do not work on themselves while they are single. When they get married, they bring their toxicity from their old relationships, and what have you to ruin their present marriage.

Being happy is a choice, and you have to make that decision if you want to be happy or not. With that being said, you must not use your preset relationship status to determine your happiness or not.

If you are married, single, divorced, separated, do not be overly overwhelmed with sadness. Spend your time to actually learn the lesson that you should be learning irrespective of your relationship status.

HOW TO BE SINGLE AND HAPPY

Being happy is a choice. You make that choice. You decide if you want to be happy or not. No one gets to detect that for you. Happiness is one of the things you need in life. You may lose everything, but if you have happiness, then you win.

  1. ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE SINGLE:

Acceptance is very important. If you do not accept that you are single, you can not even work on yourself. You can not be better version of yourself. I always say that you need to know who you are, and who you are about. Accept that being single is a time for you to carry out some things you have always wanted.

2. SPEND TIME WITH GOD IN PRAYER:

This is a time to spend time with God. When you do spend time with God, you will know who you truly are. I always say that you are here on earth for reason. You are here on earth to create impact. You are here on earth to create an impact. You are here on earth to create an impact. You are not here by accident. You are existing to be the best that you can ever be. I always say that, there is enough room, and enough space for you and I to shine in this world. You are a light. Do not dim your light.

Spend this time to pray, study your bible and pray to God. God will give you direction. He will expose to you what you ought to be doing in life.

Even the bible says that you are the technology of God. Who can know the use of something more than its creator? God is your creator. He knows you better and created you for a reason.

3. LOVE YOURSELF:

No one can love you like you. If you do not love yourself, then you are not living your best life.

A lot of people have been hurt or been involved in a toxic relationship. The circumstances you go via life may cause you to have a low self-esteem. Like I always say, do not let your background put your back on the ground.

Love yourself because you will never find anyone like yourself. You are amazing and there will never be anyone like you. Love yourself because when you love yourself, you can easily pour out love to others and your world.

4. TAKE YOURSELF ON AN AMAZING DATE:

You are right to go on dates. You do not need to go on a date only with a man. Take yourself on a date. Dress expensive, and drive to a classy place. You may even take an uber there. Have fun and make merry. Go to the park. Go to the movies. Have a walk.

Do things that make you so happy. You deserve that and no one can and should take that from you.

5. STOP NEGATIVITY AROUND YOU:

I have a post that emphasizes on cutting toxic people off. You can read it HERE.

Do not have any toxic people around you. Cutting toxic people off is very important, and it will help you focus on your vision.

Let your vision stand the test of time.

Shun all forms of toxicity.

You can read an article how to cut off negative people HERE.

When you do that, you will have enough space to be you. You will have time to be creative. You will have time to create an impact. I have realized that, negativity makes you depressed.

Life is good, and it needs to be enjoyed.

Until you enjoy your singleness, you can not even work on yourself.

They say learning never ends. If you are single, it is time to learn a craft, or do something that actually makes you happy.

I wrote an article HERE about the things you should be doing as a single.

I you enjoyed this post, go ahead and share. Sharing is caring.

Until next time,

Let me know what a single can do to be happy.

Lots of Love;

BELLA

10 Amazing Things You Must Do When You’re Single.

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what every single must do

If you are an African, you will be able to relate to this article. When you are a teen, your African parents will not want to hear you talk about a boyfriend. When you are twenty-five or more and still single, some will start asking you if you have a suitor, or asking you when you intend to get married. Well, you may have already experienced this, or you will soon experience it. Have you experienced this? Let me know in the comment section please.

I know that men experience this kind of questions at an older age. When they are 30 and above, you will hear mothers expressing their unquenchable desire to be grandmothers. Some mothers even go to the extend of telling you how their friends are already great-grandmothers, and they are not even grandmothers. I wonder what these titles mean to them. Do not get me wrong. I love kids, and I believe that children are a gift from God. Children are a blessing.

THIS IS WHY BEING SINGLE IS OKAY AND ACTUALLY A BLESSING.

I do not want you to be joyless because you are single. I want you to be happy that you are. Actually, do not be depressed simply because you are trying to please your parents or make everyone feel that you are man or woman enough. Do not rush into a relationship because of peer pressure, or because of the pressure from friends, family or loved ones.

Do not forget that you will be the one wearing the shoes of your relationship not any other person.

With that being said, do you sit and think that you are good for nothing? Or that you are hopeless? Or do you ask yourself questions like:

Is singleness a curse?

Is GOD punishing me with singleness?

These are interesting questions that can go via your mind.

The short response to that is YES! Being single is a great blessing than it is a curse. Being single is a huge blessing in disguise.

Is being single normal at age 20 and above?

YES! It is my dear.

As a Christian, will I ever get a relationship again?

You sure will.

This actually brings you and I into todays blogpost.

10 Ways Single Christians should Enjoy Their Singleness.

Like I said above, being single is not a curse or a taboo. Do not be in a hurry just to be in a relationship. A lot of people have ended up in an abusive relationship just because they are uncomfortable to be alone. You can read that blogpost on how to stop an abusive relationship here.

10 IMPORTANT THINGS YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SINGLE.

  1. SPEND TIME WITH GOD IN PRAYER AND STUDYING YOUR BIBLE:

This is a must do. Prayer is the key to everything. I can not even over emphasize on this. Jesus in the bible prayed, what more of you and I? when you are a Christian who is single, the best thing you can do to yourself is to actually spend time with God praying and studying your bible. This will help you to trust God in this time of singleness. When you pray, and study your bible, you will be aligned to what is expected of you.

This is a time for direction, correction, rebuke and clarity for what lies ahead of you. This is very important for you to do. This is a time of totally surrendering to God as well.

2. SELF-LOVE/ SELF-DISCOVERY:

When you are single, you will discover yourself. This is a ‘YOU’ time. This is a time where your purpose will be revealed with so much clarity. You will discover a lot of things that you are good at. This is a time where you will find out what really makes you happy, and what does not.

You may have been in a very toxic relationship, and have lost touch of who you are, or have really neglected yourself. This is a time for you to pamper yourself. This is a time to show yourself some love. This is a time to show yourself some attention and affection. No one can love you like you.

This is a time to take yourself on a date. It is a time to look even better. It is a time to eat healthier, exercise, and look put together.

Showing yourself some love is not a sin. Even the bible says that your body is the temple of the LORD. That means make it look amazing inside out. So, pamper yourself. You deserve it.

3. IMPROVE ON YOURSELF:

No one knows everything in this world. One thing I am know is that, everyone definitely knows something. Learning never stops. While you are single, go ahead and improve on yourself. Instead of weeping, crying and being so hard on yourself, go ahead and learn something.

In this time of singleness, you can learn a new craft, you can read a book, or go back to school. You can start a business, or learn something that you are passionate about. You are never too old or too young to learn something new. When time is gone, you will never get that time back. Use the time you have judiciously.

4. MEET NEW PEOPLE:

Just because you are single does not mean that it is the end of the world. You can meet new people. People who will help you in what ever you are interested in. You can meet people in church, you can even have a business meeting, you can meet new people just anywhere. If you are invited to a wedding, or a birthday party, do your best to go.

Going to these occasions and actually socializing are two different things. When you get there, talk to people, and make sure that you are cheerful. Engage in conversations. You may never know where such healthy conversations may end. You may land a business partner, or a good friend, or a mentor.

Do not go to these gatherings and sound desperate and ‘thirsty’ in your conversations. That is not good for you. Carry yourself with dignity and with a lot of self-worth.

5. WORK ON YOUR CAREER AND DREAMS:

Before you got into a relationship, you had a career path. I am strongly against dropping all you ever want in life for a relationship. It is different if you change your career path because you want that career to maybe accommodate your marriage or something. I have met people who do not work anymore because they landed a ‘trophy’ boyfriend. This also applies to guys. They stay home doing nothing. I really wonder who they think they are fooling here. Do not get me wrong. You may not have a 9-5 job, but you could have a side hustle, or even add some value to yourself. Some people do not do anything at all, just because they think that a relationship is all they need in life. That is not correct.

Now that you are single, it is time for you to get up, and pursue the career path that you have always wanted. Go to school, learn a trade, pickup a new hobby, learn a craft. You may have had a dream to start a business. What are you waiting for? Go for it, and do not give up on that dream of yours.

6. SPEND YOUR TIME JUDISCIOUSLY:

When you waste any time, you will never get it back. Spend this time to do some useful work for yourself. If you want to learn a craft, do it. If you want to go to school, go ahead. If you need to travel for business, by all means do that.

Use your time to do constructive things. Do not waste it gossiping or finding faults in people or things. Use your time to build and construct things in your life and in the lives of others.

7. GET AN EXTRA JOB:

If you are bored at home, and you are probably not going to school, you could get an extra job to generate some income. You need money to feed, clothe, and be a blessing to others. So, get an extra job if you can to help you when you with your bills. Remember that am idle man is the devil’s workshop.

8. GIVE BACK TO YOUR COMMUNITY:

This can be volunteering in a nonprofit, or even in your church. As a Christian who is single, serve in your church. You could be active in the ushering department or teaching Sunday school, or in the media, or anywhere else. Be active.

You could also volunteer in any nonprofit organization. Maybe pack meals, or help in whatever way you can. This will give you a degree of self-worth I tell you. At least you are giving back, or let me say that, at least you are being productive.

9. TAKE TIME TO HEAL COMPLETELY:

Being single, is a great time for you to actually heal completely. Do not be in a rush to get into another relationship. Find time to know yourself, love yourself, and heal. There is no definite time as to how soon you could heal and get into another relationship. You cannot possibly be healed in a day after a serious relationship you just got out of. I will say heal completely during your singleness so that you do not carry your hurt to your new relationship.

10. TRUST GOD’S TIMIMNG FOR YOU:

I can not even over emphasize this. Trust God’s timing for you. You are in no competition with anyone. Like I always say, you should be competing with yourself to be a better version of yourself. I did a video on how to trust God’s timing. You can watch the video here.

If you like this kind of blogposts, let me know, and I will sure write more, or do a series. Furthermore, being single is a great blessing because you get to spend quality and uninterrupted time with yourself.

Sharing is caring. If you think someone would be blessed by this blogpost, please share this with them.

Until next time,

This is Bella.

How to stop being in a toxic relationship.

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Are you in a toxic relationship? What causes a toxic relationship?

In this blog post, I will do my best to answer these questions.

I am a very strong believer of relationships. I know and I am so convinced that relationships were not meant to break or mare you and I. Relationships is God’s intention. Having a cordial relationship is a way God wants you and I to fulfil destiny and purpose.

Everyone on earth is connected to someone for a reason. There are people or friends or acquaintances that when you meet them, your life will never be the same again. This change can either be positive, or negative.

It is always up to you if you would want a total stranger to have such an impact on you. If you can be truthful to yourself, can you remember someone you didn’t really like but are now very good friends? On the other hand, you may meet someone and really love them and you end up hating them.

Look at the positive side of life.

I always like to look at the positive side of life, or a story. I have come to know that; this life has a lot of packages to render to you. It is always up to you to either accept the package, or you discard what ever package life gives you. No wonder there is a saying that, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

What is a toxic relationship?

Like I said above, everyone is intended to enjoy life to its fullest. Irrespective of who you are, you are meant to have a relationship of some sought. It could range from a mutual relationship, to an erotic relationship with your significant order, or even a mentor/mentee relationship.

A toxic relationship is a detrimental relationship to the people involved. For this definition, I will limit it only to a couple because you could be involved in a toxic relationship with your friends, family, and well-wishers.

This toxicity can range from so much jealousy, selfishness and self-centeredness, to a lot of possessiveness to the other partners or their partners belongings ranging from their finances, money, time, their body and a lot more, to manipulation especially by the use of words , rejection and all manner of abuse.

Who can be in a toxic relationship?

Anyone can be involved in an abusive relationship. The downside to being in an abusive relationship is that, irrespective of the pain afflicted on the oppressor, they always end up going to their abuser.

What causes a dysfunctional relationship?

  • Trauma from past environment.

When growing up, a lot of people see others being traumatized, and abused. For example, lets say ‘A’ may have grown up in an abusive home. His dad always hit mom. ‘A’ thinks that is the right thin to do. his brain is wired differently and he cannot act otherwise. Let us say B grew up being beaten, and ends up being traumatized. In their relationship, they will act according to their environment. It is worth noting that, not everyone will behave as such. Not everyone is a product of their environment. With that being said, it does not change the fact that, people react based on their environment.

  • The hurt and pain in you.

Like the examples above, some people have come a long way. You may be coming from a broken home, and you may have been molested, or been abused physically, or even in your past relationships. This can be one of the reasons your relationship may be toxic. If you do not heal properly, and give yourself some time to actually heal completely, you will find yourself being so aggressive, and maybe violent, or end up in a cycle of so much pain.

  • Know your squad or your gang.

This is very important. Know who you associate with. Know who is on your side. When you the person or people, you will better protect yourself, your vision, and your purpose.

  • Take your time to know people. Do not rush into making friends with someone just because you desperately need some kind of friendship from people, or to have a sense of belonging.
  • Pray to know who the people or person you want to be friends with is. Yes, prayers. God is always faithful. If you pray, God will give you direction or some sought of information about who the person is.
  • You must watch out for repetitive patterns in them. Character is like a pregnancy. You can not hide it. Do not be blinded by this love of a thing. If you can watch for repetitive patterns, how they interact with other people and stuff, you will be saved, and make better decisions.

How to have a beautiful relationship.

  • Imperfection in you and others:

No one is perfect. Everyone has some sought of flaws. You do too. It will be unrealistic if you expect your spouse to be perfect in all their doings. Absolutely not. That does not happen with you.

  • Know your squad.

Know who you hang around with. This can make or mare your relationship. If a friend of yours abuses his or her partner, you may likely start abusing yours especially if they have strong will power over you.

  • Be patient

Patience is a virtue. For your relationships to be successful, you must be patient with each other. Sometimes, you may just let things slide. It doesn’t mean that you didn’t see it. It means you have seen it, and that may not be the right time to address it. Be patient

  • Do not carry hurt from your past relationships to your present relationships.

Healing is very important after a terrible breakup. I know someone who had a bad breakup and before I knew it, that person was already in another one. I mean after a week after breaking up with your partner? Well, I am in no position to judge or say anything. And that relationship ended two weeks after that. I am telling you this story so that you will take your time to heal, and take your time to love again. Do not bring your hurt from the old relationship to the new one that you have.

  • You must have boundaries put in place.

I cannot over emphasize the importance of boundaries. If you cannot compromise lets say over your education, do not get into a relationship when you know your significant other wants you to not go to school. Do not get in with the hopes of changing them. That will never happen. I am not saying be rigid. There may be some trivial issues you could leave with. Set your boundaries about things you know you cannot condone. These things may range from big to the smallest things in life. Examples may include religion, education, your vison, clothing, finances, food and a lot more.

Make sure you watch for red flags and try your best, God helping you to run from toxic relationships.

Share this post to someone who may be in need of this information. If you need more articles about relationships, let me know.

I would like to know is you have ever been in a toxic relationship or if you know anyone in one.

Until next time

It is BELLA.

Self-Love/ Self-Care: How to love yourself unapologetically.

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self love
self-love and self-care

Why loving yourself is so important

A lot of people are insecure either physically, spiritually or even emotionally. I have been talking to someone who told me upfront that she is emotionally challenged, and nothing good can arise from her when it comes to relationships.

During one of those sessions, what she said brought tears to my eyes. I was a little emotional not only because of what she said, I was emotional because she is not the only one going through some sought of abuse in the world.

Love is a beautiful thing people. This is like a very common thing that a lot of people say, but is it even true? Some say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Others say love is a fantasy. Some say true love doesn’t exist. Others say true love does exist. Wherever you find yourself on this love spectrum, go ahead and chill. Let us have a solid conversation here.

Before you and I continue, let’s go to the very basics.

What is love?

When I google what love is, I just got this definition that interests me. It said love is a great interest and pleasure in something. This deep pleasure can be for someone or for something.

If love is a great and intense or deep pleasure, does it mean that love is only erotic? Does it mean that there is no agape love? Does agape love hurt?

You and I have probably gone down this lonely road of pain. I call it lonely because you go down that road alone. No one is with you. You feel the pain deep in your heart.

The heart is a muscle. Trust me, this little muscle really stands the test of time. You hear and see how parents, siblings, friends betray the love you have for them.

Example:

This is very common amongst Africans. You can have someone who travels to a developed world. He or she will do their best to save money and send back home to their immediate family. The money is so that they can help erect a structure for them. This never happens eventually. After years of collecting the money, they vanish into thin air.

Another thing is when you work so hard in your relationship with your partner. You treat them right, and foot all bills for everything that they ever wanted. You even go ahead to make sure that they are comfortable. You listen to them. You accept their baggage. One day you come home only to find them in bed with another person. Hahahaha.

This life is filled with a lot of things one can not phantom. I tell you this confidently. If I have to tell you all of the things going on in this world, you will be amazed. Just because you do not know what is going on, doesn’t mean that, that thing doesn’t exist.

This is the very reason I am making this blogpost about self-love, self-care and all. You need this for your wellbeing. Right now, you may not know why, and how to actually exercise some self-love.

Without much ado, lets jump right into the importance of why self-love, self-care, putting yourself first is very important to you, your vision, your purpose, your mental health, your wellbeing, and everything that concerns you.

Find out why loving yourself is so important.

No one can love you like you would love yourself. I have actually come to realize that, you love yourself genuinely from the inside out. Self-love is not a sin. Putting yourself into the equation of your life is not a crime. Trust me when I say that.

I know and totally understand that, you would want to treat yourself even better. Unfortunately, you cannot even do that because you have been treated unfairly, and you probably think that it is the right thing to do. Unfortunately, it is not so.

Do not minimize yourself for something you actually deserve.

~ Christ Bella.

You do not have to prove yourself to anyone:

  • It makes you make better decisions/ saying no when you have to. This is very easy. When you love yourself, you will not compromise. You may find yourself doing things for the norm of it. For example, just because you are in an abusive relationship, you may think that it is right to accept the hitting. Sometimes, you may even let go of your vision and or neglect to work or improve yourself just because your abusive partner said so. You may say or do these things because you want to keep your ‘so called’ relationship. If only you know your worth, you will not settle for that relationship because your future and destiny is on the line.
  • It makes you not to seek approval from people. A lot of people always want some kind of approval from people. I have been there. At one point, I wanted some approval from people. When I grew with my walk with God, I better understood who I am in Christ, and who God wants me to be. Although I am still growing, I know that I will never be the same again because I know to some degree who I am, and I have decided to show so much love to myself.
  • You believe in yourself. Believing in yourself is not a one-day thing. When you study who you are, and come to an understanding of the role you have to play in life, you will believe in yourself. Others may not believe in you. Life always has its way of toiling with you and I. If only you search yourself deep within to know what you are passionate about, or how you can actually add some value to yourself, you will be amazed how confident and strong you have become.
  • Forgiveness. When you know who you are, it makes you heal when you are hurt easily. Because you know that you are a Queen or a King, when you know who you are, you easily let go. You better understand that, being hurt today doesn’t mean that your life is limited or stocked. You understand that you have learned your lesson, and you are actually moving on to the next chapter of your life.

How to practice self-care/self-love.

Have a routine night and morning routine is very important in your selfcare journey. This may even include easy things like getting up early in the morning, praying, drinking a cup of coffee, and a lot more. Selflove can be inner self care or outer self-care. All of these selfcare will give you a balance to life. which is a balance of your spirit, soul and body. This is my motto always.

how to practice self love

Inner self care

Take classes to improve on your mind.

Read your favorite book.

Learn a new craft

Learn a new instrument.

Cut negativity out of your life.

Spend time praying.

Read your bible

Spend quality time with yourself to develop yourself.

Outer self-care

Spend time to exercise.

Eat healthy as much as possible.

Buy new makeup if that is what you like.

Get some new cosmetics if you can.

Dress good at all times.

Do facials if you care for it.

Get a massage.

Get pedicure/ manicure.

self love and self care

BONUS TIP

  • Leaving in integrity and self-love

This is very important because self-love involves living in integrity. Integrity is living in accordance to your principles, wants, and your needs. Living a life of integrity is about having boundaries and adding value to your values, yourself, your desires, your needs, your wants and most importantly, your vision, purpose and your destiny.

During this quarantine, are you giving yourself some self-care and self-love?

Let me know.

Until next time

BELLA.

2 Ingredient African Pepper Sauce Recipe.

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african pepper sauce recipe
african pepper sauce

Most Simple African Pepper Sauce.

Almost everyone in Africa loves some degree of heat to their food. This easy and quarantine friendly pepper sauce is to die for.

You only need 2 ingredients to achieve this amazing sauce.

This recipe is the simplest and the most basic African habanero sauce recipe. It taste so yummy, and it is amazingly simple, and easy to achieve.

This pepper sauce goes with anything you can think of. Like for real though.

Ingredients:

10 -15 Habanero pepper

1 whole Onions

Green onions (optional)

Onions

Procedure:

  • Wash your pepper and put into the blender
  • Chop your onions and add to the blender
  • Add your spring of green onions (optional)
  • Add little water and blend.
  • Toss your mixture into your pot and cook.
  • Add your seasoning (knorr cubes, salt) to taste.
  • Transfer the pepper to an airtight container when the water is dry.
  • Add oil to it and VIOLA!!!!

Watch how to do it:

What can you eat the pepper sauce with?

You can eat this spicy sauce with

  1. Fish: Grilled fish, oven baked or even fried fish.
  2. Deep fried batter: Accra banana, puff puff, gateaux, beignets etc.
  3. Suya/soya: Beef and chicken suya.
  4. Soups: Peanut butter soup, tomato stew, egusi soup.
  5. Rice: fried rice, jellof/jollof rice
  6. Chips: fried yam or yam chips, plantain chips, Irish potatoes fries and so much more.
ingredients for pepper sauce
ingredients for african pepper sauce
fish and yam fries
things to eat with pepper sauce: fish, yam fries

Let me know how this turned out of you try it.

Until next time,

This is Bella.

Perfect Accra Banana Recipe.

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accra banana
accra banana with wheat flour

Accra banana aka banana fritters aka koutti, aka banana akara, aka banana puff puff.

This is one of my go to snacks whenever I succeed to buy bananas and I end up not using them for my hair mask, or as a facial. When the banana is over ripe, I just end up making this mouthwatering snack and I am good to go. These days, no one really likes deep frying dough. A lot of people term this unhealthy. I am kind of addicted to flour or wheat so, I tend to eat this snack so that I will convince myself that I have eaten a fruit which in this case is banana. Lol.

This is a must try recipe during quarantine. If you have over ripe bananas, instead of tossing them away, try this accra banana, and you will thank me later.

Accra banana is something that was a delicacy for me back in the days. Traditionally, this accra banana is made with cassava. The cassava is grated, strained, and the flour used. The flour is mixed with the banana and deep fried.

I thank my aunty Mommy Jane. Each time she did this, I will sit and be watching because I was so young to grate any cassava. When she finished mixing and squeezing the water out of the grated cassava, I will be ready to form them into balls. There is always the part called ‘tasting’-which involved frying 1-3 balls, and the people who have been involved in the arduous work will taste, and give a go ahead for the rest of the accra mixture to be fried for consumption. If it didn’t pass the ‘tasting exams’, then whatever needed to be added to it will be added.

I just do the same thing with the wheat flour. The good side to this is that, in this recipe, you do not have to spend all your time to grate everything. It takes less than 5 minutes to get this mixture and you are ready to go.

Where did accra banana originated from?

This snack is a staple in most African countries. It is really enjoyed in West African countries, and some parts of East Africa as well. Some countries call it accra banana. Others call it banana akara, and others call it banana fritters. This accra banana is really enjoyed in Cameroon, Nigeria, Sierra Leone, Ghana, Guinea, even Liberia, and some other parts of Africa. Some people call this ‘kouti’ or ‘koutti’ when it is mixed with grated cassava.

When can banana akaras or accra bananas be eaten?

This snack is a must have for any occasion. This snack is a must have snack during a birthday party, to a baby shower, to weddings, and it is a must have for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or even a snack. This is addictive. Trust me when I say that these banana fritters are. This is really enjoyed when it is hot. You can eat it until your stomach cries foul.

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup of wheat flour

1 cup of mashed banana (3 fingers of banana)

4 teaspoons of sugar

½ teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon of Baking powder

Vanilla (optional)

Nutmeg (optional)

Oil for deep frying

PROCEDURE

  • Peel and mash your banana by putting it into a bowl, and mashing with a fork, or a masher.
  • Add your salt and sugar to the bowl and mix.
  • Add your baking powder to the flour, and sieve into the bowl.
  • Add vanilla and or nutmeg and stir everything into a homogenous mixture.
  • Let it rest for 30-45 minutes.
  • Deep fry it in hot oil by scooping the batter, and drop the batter in the oil.

How to form banana fritter balls?

  • Use your hands to scoop the batter and drop into the oil.
  • Use an ice cream scoop to scoop the batter and fry.
  • Use a deep spoon to scoop the batter and fry.

what flour can you put into your banana fritters?

  • Rice flour
  • Wheat flour like in this recipe
  • Grated cassava or yuca
  • Corn flour.
peeled bananas for banana fritters
Peel your bananas and dump in a bowl
how to mash up banana for baking
Mashed banana ready for your accra banana
banana cake mixture
Add your whole wheat flour, salt, sugar, baking powder, salt into the mixture
how to fry banana puff puff
scoop the batter and deep fry it in your oil
banana akara
End results of the accra banana recipe. serve with pepper.

Watch how to make accra banana fritters here:

If you tried this recipe, let me know how it went for you.

Until next time,

This is Bella

5 Definitive ways to heal after a terrible heartbreak

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how to heal from a breakup
healing completely from a bad breakup

How to heal after a terrible heart break.

It is quarantine and a lot of changes are going on in the world right now. Change is a constant thing. With no time to waste, a lot of people are going via a lot of stress and there is so much instability and insecurity. Generally speaking, there is a lot of pain in the world right now. Although everyone has been told to stay home, not a lot of people are having quality time while being quarantined. During a time like this, there are a lot of people going through emotional trauma. This trauma is not only because people are being killed by COVID-19, but it is because, a lot of relationships are breaking up. The rate of domestic violence is increasing to the letter daily. In this time of great instability in the world, how will an amazing person like you balance a breakup and being able to properly heal? Trust me when I say that, having a breakup right now is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. But trust me when I say that, you can still go via it. You are not the first to undergo any breakup. You will not be the last. Everyone has had their fair share of breakups and or disappointments. When you totally heal from a breakup, you will better understand that, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. With that being said, know that life continues, and let me share with you tips on how to heal after a breakup.

  • Acceptance:

This is a very crucial phase. Accepting that you are hurt is very important. Denial means you can not heal. When you accept that you just had a breakup or that you have been hurt, then your healing is inevitable. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to yell or scream, do that. Furthermore, if you need to go to the park, or take a walk, do that. If you need to do any exercise, you should. You may even go to bed and bump your head and deny to wake up. That’s totally fine as well. One thing you must do is acknowledge the hurt. When you do that, know it is the beginning of your healing journey.

  • Forgive them, and forgive yourself:

Saying that you should forgive may be very easy to say. Forgiving yourself and others is very important. In order for you to have a better life, and actually move on, you need to have a horizontal relationship with others. This can only be possible when you have a vertical relationship with GOD. He alone will and is able to help you forgive yourself and others. It may seem difficult at first, but trust me, to forgive means that you were actually making progress. Everyone is quick to tell you that GOD forgave us, and has commanded us to forgive others 77 time 7. It is easy to say, but doing it is difficult. If you can trust God and this healing process, then you will better understand that forgiveness s good. Greatness is in the details. Something so minor like forgiving can change your world completely. Sometimes you and I tend not to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we do. You owe yourself forgiveness. You have to forgive yourself, and that alone will give you a sense of self love, and self worth. You are worthy of forgiving yourself.

  • Pray and surrender your pain to God:

Praying and surrendering your pain to God is very crucial. Prayer is the masters key. Prayer is a secret and it is able to work wonders. Prayer is a communication tool. You are communicating with GOD who really understands you. He will never talk down on you. He will never judge you. God can really relate with you and give you a better reason to live. Trust me when I say that GOD really understands. If you need to cry when you are praying, you should cry. It is really therapeutic. Even the bible makes us understand that GOD has emotions because the bible says in John 3:16 that ‘For GOD so LOVED the world …’ meaning GOD has feelings and loves you. He will never cast you out. If you come to him, he will take you in and show you unconditional love. It is up to you to just accept his love. Freely he offers you that love, and it will only be poite to freely receive it.

  • Do things that make you happy. Enjoy being single:

Everyone has what they love and what brings them joy and happiness. Do yourself a favor and enjoy when you can. If watching movies at this time will make you happy, do so. If spending quality time with your loved ones will make you happy, do it. Just distract yourself. Sometimes, you just need to start afresh. You can learn a new skill, or spend time doing amazing activities which you have always loved to do. Learn an instrument if music is your passion, or if that’s what you have always wanted.

Know that being single is a blessing and not a curse. Do not think that being single is a weakness or some kind of bad luck. Do your best to be up and about. Get busy, and surround yourself with good people. Surround yourself with great vibes and superb energy only. Trust me when I say that you will enjoy being single. You do not have to be accountable to no body apart from GOD. You have to be your own boss, and make merry. You do not have to be worrying about a cheating spouse or a jealous partner. You are like a bird, so fly.

  • Focus on your future and make plans:

You have dreams that you want to achieve. When you finally breakup, go for your dreams. You may have given up your dreams or your passion because of your then relationship. If this was the case, set the record straight and go for your dreams. Make plans and strategize on how to fulfill or realize your dreams. If you need to go to school, do so. if you need to start a business, do so. If you need to start a new hobby, do so. It is never too late to start any new thing or learn a craft.

One thing that I am a strong believer of is destiny. Go for your dreams. What ever will make you happy, go for it. Hustle and grind. Do not give up. Work on yourself and be a better version of yourself.

As always, I want to hear from you. If you have ever gone via a breakup or are going via one right now, please leave me message or an email. I want to know how you are doing and or coping.

It is wise to take care of yourself. You deserve better, and you are special.

Until next time,

This is Bella.

All you need is within you. Thank You for 1000 Subscribers.

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1k subscribers
everything you ever need is within you.

1000 subscribers and counting.

Today is one of those happy days for me. Not only because I am alive, but because something which I thought was impossible was made possible today for me.

I always say that, there are many reasons why people have fear. Sometimes, the fear may try to overwhelm you. Fear is just False Expectations Appearing Real. Fear is a person like I said in one of my post. You can read that here. Fear is a liar. Fear will give you a lot of doubt about yourself, render you useless, and powerless. Fear will make you look down on yourself. Fear may even make you bring your vision to zero. Fear is good for nothing.

You may know the good things in life. You may want to be the best person in the world. You may want to be a business guru or a business tycoon. The only thing that can actually stop you is yourself. Your mind is the only thing that can actually stop you. In a world like ours, where everything is fast, a lot of people want instant things. Only few people want to work hard and achieve their goals. A quick fix is never really a part of the plan to fulfilling your destiny, or going for your dreams.

go for your dreams and find yourself

When quarantine started, I decided to put up a video every day on my YouTube channel. This was actually an abrupt decision that I made. It was going to be challenging for sure. I didn’t really know what was expected of me. I knew I would spend a lot of sleepless nights, but I didn’t know it would be a consistent thing. I knew I would be busy doing videos, and it is not only about sitting down and recording a video, but it is more about sitting down, recording, editing, and watching over and over making sure that it is up to standards to be watched.

When I made this decision, I dived into the unknown, and ever since quarantine started, I have been putting out videos daily. My channel that didn’t really seem to be growing was staring at me. I was hoping I would get to a thousand subscribers. The good news is that, I have finally gotten to that. It was so worth it. Hard work pays and trust me when I say that I danced a ‘holy ghosted’ dance. I was super happy, and I was like ‘wow, so I have finally reached 1k subscribers?’.

The truth is that, 1k subscribers may not mean anything to some people, or it may not mean anything to you. Let me give you some reasons why it means so much to me. This is the first time I have had a thousand subscribers, and I grew my channel after being consistent. I didn’t just sit and say it may not be possible. All you need is within you.

Set target goals, and go for it. Amidst all of that, some people told me that I am just wasting time to be uploading videos. I had decided to cut off any form of wasting time doing unnecessary things. I also spent more time on my craft. I am not where I want to be. I am not where I use to be either. When you want anything in life, go for it. This is just the beginning of a journey of a thousand miles.

I am a girl from west Africa who has a message for the world. I am here to share how everyone is beautiful in their own way. You are unique in your own way. I always tell everyone that there is enough room for all of us to shine. Daily I have to learn my craft, and I try to be better at it. I am still learning, and I am so glad that I am heading somewhere.

This blogpost is for my subscribers. I am so happy for your support, and that means a lot to me. I really appreciate it.

I made a video for you. You can enjoy it below. If you have not subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so.

Check my channel from time to time because I have motivational videos, and I also cook some good and delicious food, and I show you how to do your hair as well. You can always check it out. Recently, I am showing you how to cook up some delicious quarantine meals for you and your family, right at the comfort of your home.

Until next time,

It is BELLA.

Caring for your mental health during quarantine COVID-19.

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quarantine and chilax
how to take care of yourself during quarantine

How to take care of your mental health during quarantine.

Mental health is something that should not be played with. A lot of people do not know the importance of keeping their mental health in check. In developed countries, a lot of people are well educated about mental health. There is some what a degree of sensitization going on. However, in some developing countries or in not so developed countries, people do not even know about mental health. Some people look at it like a stigma.

Personally, I can say with all conviction that almost everyone on planet earth has been a little depressed, or traumatized at some point in their life. The only difference is how you handle yourself when tough moments come. You should not let anything have a hold on you. In life, you will face some trying moments. These moments will range from being hurt by your loved ones, to loosing someone special, to even loosing your business. You may feel trampled upon and abandoned. A lot of things may be thrown at you that will give you a feeling of giving up but do not give up. There is this saying that tough times does not last, but tough people do.

Being quarantined is a no brainer. It is hard. It is so not what I want in my life to be honest. It is different if you are just home because you want to be home. It is also different if you are a stay at home mom or a stay at home person. It is also different if you voluntarily just want to stay at home. COVID-19 gives one a feeling of being in jail or prison. It is really frustrating. People are different and have different temperaments. Some people love being indoors, and others do not. I know some people who love to be up and about. Right now, you do not have any say. You have to be home especially is you are not a healthcare worker. My prayers go out to and for anyone who is a healthcare worker.

With everything changing so fast, you are bound to stay home. Not everyone likes it. A lot of people have lost the source of their revenue. Some have actually lost their loved ones. People are affected in one way or the other. People are affected directly or indirectly. A lot of people may not say it because they do not know how to say it. Some do not have someone to even talk to.

Taking care of your mental health during pandemics like the COVID-19 is very important. I have come to realize that your mental health determines how you will function in life. If there is no stability, you can not even live you God given life. you can not even fulfil destiny and your purpose. You can not even be happy. I am a strong advocate of being happy. When you are not happy, that is when you become miserable. This is one of the stressors that actually make people suicidal. It is undeniable that a lot of things may cause suicidal radiation like loss of something very important, how you are treated by others, medications you may be on, and all what not. With that being said, it is safe to boldly say that COVID-19 is affecting lives and people out there either directly or indirectly.

This blogpost is dedicated to you reading. I want you to be safe during this time. If you know anyone going via any mental health crisis or who may need this, please share with them.

How to protect your mental health during crisis like COVID-19.

Morning routine

I cannot even over emphasize or under emphasize the importance of having a morning routine. When you google or watch some YouTube videos, you see a lot of people showing you their morning routine. To be honest, I see that people just exaggerate how they do their morning routines. I am not saying that you shouldn’t have a long, and exquisite morning routine. The issue is, even if you want to have a spa like morning routine, where will you get all those fancy things when a lot of stores are closed?

Have a morning routine that resonates with you. Having a morning routine sometimes can be as simple or easy as just getting up from bed, take a cup of coffee or tea. Furthermore, you can just meditate, or call a loved one. You can even just shower, or do what makes you happy. Personally, when I get up, I like to drink a cup of warm water, and I read my bible and I pray. I can then do whatever I want to do that makes me happy.

Eat well

Eating is very important. During winter, I totally understand that a lot of people were just eating whatever they wanted to eat or felt like eating. It is unfortunate that, summer is around the corner and you have to start going to the gym. Unfortunately, all gyms are closed. Some people are taking upon themselves to starve. Others are over eating. This is an all or nothing law. You should not be over eating, or undereating. Do not eat to please yourself. Over eating has never and will never be a coping skill. Eat just the right amount. You do not want to be going to the hospital because a health complication due to over eating.

Avoid unhealthy over information

This one may sound weird. Please avoid over information. A lot of people are on the internet just saying whatever they want to say when it comes to COVID-19. Some of what they say can give you a panic attack instantly. I am not trying to scare you. If you must get info or any updates about COVID-19, check on trusted websites. It is important to be informed especially in this time of crisis. Do not get me wrong. I just do not want you misinformed because that alone can kill you. Go ahead and take few breaks within the day from social media. Trust me this tip will help you. Social media can be addictive sometimes. Take a break from it sometimes. It will help.

Stop procrastinating

Procrastination is very bad. We have all been there. You may really want to do something, but you end up not doing it. You may always postpone what you want to do forgetting that tomorrow never comes.

Do your best to read a motivational or self-empowering book. Anything that you have always loved to do, do it especially if it can be done online. You can clear your closet, clean your house, or you can even cook something that you really love.

Stay home

This is one of those things that no one really wants to hear. First of all, you must accept that you have to stay at home. When you accept that, you have to stay home. You need to be safe for others to be safe too. If you stay home, you reduce the risk of getting COVID-19, or you reduce the risk of it spreading. It is for your good and my good. If only you stay home, you and I will actually get to go out before you know it. If everyone is going out, then it will even bring more anxiety because the number of those affected will soar, and that is even more scary. Be safe and stay home.

Do what makes you happy and surround yourself with happy people

In times of crisis, you need people to help you and so do people need you too. No one is an island. If dancing makes you happy, then dance. If singing will make you fell like you are on top of the world, then sing out your lungs. If drawing, or painting makes you feel amazing, do it. If spending time with you can actually make you feel okay, give yourself some self-love. If being with your family, loved ones and kids will make you feel fabulous and fantastic plus ‘coca – cola-listic’ then do it. Be happy. Life is short.

Night time routine

Having a night time routine is very important. Just like a morning routine. It can range from reflecting on how you spent your day, to just listening to music. Personally, I pray at night, and thank God for another day he gave to me. Furthermore, I tell my loved ones how much they mean to me via text or call. I also just reflect on my life, and what I will be doing after COVID-19. Finally, I may leave my diffuser on with its soothing music as it plays via the night.

And viola!.

Although you are quarantined, and amidst everything going on now, you need to be happy. You deserve to feel worthy more than ever before during this time.

Let me know what you are doing during this quarantine and or amidst this crisis.

Until next time,

Bella

The easy and perfect shrimp and Crab seafood boil recipe.

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sea food boil
crab boil

The best shrimp and crab seafood boil recipe of all time.

Yearly, most Christians spend time to fast and pray at the beginning of the year. I have realized that whenever I am fasting, everything and anything edible has an extraordinarily amazing aroma. When I say everything, I mean it. Even the things that I do not even crave for ordinarily. These things do not need to be opened or no one needs to be cooking or eating by me. If you fast often, maybe you can relate to this.

During one of our fast in church, it seemed like forever before the set time. I literally prayed (silently though) that the hands of time should speed up like a tornado or a torpedo. Unfortunately, my prayers were not answered. Just maybe I didn’t pray enough, I guess. To make things worse, my sister, friend and goofy partner in the college of being over zealous for God, came to me and was like ‘OMG Bella, what about having a seafood boil after the fasting?’. We were still fasting, and we were supposed to be in the ‘mode of prayer’ at all times. I guess this didn’t work at this time. Or were we being canal? Or were we just one of those ‘holy ghosted sisters’ who wanted to show that we could fast? Truth be told I actually salivated when she mentioned this sea food boil. I could picture the jumbo shrimps in my mind’s eyes, and the crab legs, and all the dipping sauce, right to everything. You can not even know how tantalizing that seafood boil idea was in my mind. Being someone who can think for Africa, I thought about how juicy this could be. Lord have Mercy on me was, is, and forever will be my prayer. I only told her that I need to wake up from this ‘bad dream’. Well, how the fasting of that day ended, is probably the story for another day. After the fasting, we decided to actually make everything ‘seafood-luscious’.

For this seafood boil, you can cook it however you want, and you can always play with the different kind of seafood you want to use. From shrimps, to crabs, to clamps, lobster tails, and whatever you want to do. you can do your seafood boils in a packet; you can put them in aluminum foil paper and put on the grill. You can even cook everything in a turkey bag. It is up to you.

I tell those around me that cooking is an art, and whatever works for me, may not work for you. However, you can always do your best

This is an easy quarantine meal. In this recipe, I just used whatever I had at home. You do not have to do anything super fancy. Due to this lockdown, you can just play around with everything you have at home.

Let’s jump into the recipe.

 

Ingredients:

  • Shrimp (Jumbo shrimp; I used 1 pack)
  • Crab legs (4 were in a pack)
  • Red russet potatoes (I used 6)
  • Sausage (1-pound smoked turkey sausage)
  • Eggs (as needed: I used 6)
  • Corn on the cob (4 ears of corn)
  • Red, yellow, and green bell peppers (1 each)
  • Onions (4 whole onions)
  • Garlic (3 cloves)
  • Vinegar/ Lemon for cleaning the crab legs.
  • Butter and vegetable oil
  • Seasoning of choice (chicken bouillon cubes, black pepper, paprika, white pepper, green onions)

Procedure:

  • Wash potatoes, cut your corn, add water and a teaspoon of salt to it.
  • Add your eggs and boil
  • When ready, set aside and peal your eggs.
  • Boil shrimp, and crab legs in another pot. Put all your seasons i.e. paprika, white and black pepper, seasoning cubes. This should be between 15-20 minutes maximum.
  • Set to the side when ready.
  • Blend you peppers, and set alongside your onions, and garlic.
  • Dice 1 whole onion and add to the mixture.
  • In a separate pot, poor the blended mixture, and add your cooking into the mixture.
  • Cook until it is well done and season as needed.
  • In a frying pan, add butter and brown your shrimps, and sliced smoked turkey sausage.
  • Toss everything in a separate bowl, and use your dipping sauce to munch.
  • It is that simple.

N.B:

– Use Jumbo shrimps. I personally think that they taste better than medium or small sized shrimps.

Enjoy the video here

Until next time,

Bella